“Where have you been?”
I stepped back. “I... We were just walking around.”
“For four hours?” She looked just like my mother, in that moment. The night I came home, knuckles bloody, at three in the morning, and watched her pace the living room, chewing her nails, Virginia sitting on the couch staring, Josephine upstairs in her room, eyes focused on the ceiling. My mother looked so damn weary that night. It terrified me.
“I’m sorry. I should have called.”
She shook her head. “You came here to get out of trouble Ulysses. And you can’t stay away. You’re courting disaster. Roaming like that. Not calling. I tried to call you. Your phone wasn’t on.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, staring at the ground.
She sighed. “I want you to be happy here. I want this to work out for you. You’re making it so hard.” She clutched her head with one veined hand, massaging her temples.
“I’m not getting into trouble. Poppy was just showing me around. Getting to know me.”
The thing – the sad thing, maybe, or the strange thing – was that I was telling the truth. We had sat out there for hours, leaning against Susie, talking. About nothing, really – nothing important, nothing about family or worry or fear. School. Friends. How her best friend Lia was always calling her in the middle of the night to talk about nothing. How Virginia had used an at-home highlighting kit the year before and bleached her hair out so badly the salon had to cut most of the top layer out. We were just talking. That was all. And on the way home I had given her my flip-flops, hilariously too big for her, and we had tripped along for a mile and a half with our arms thrown around each other’s shoulders. I had kissed her goodnight on her front lawn, but it hadn’t been more than a peck. It hadn’t even occurred to me how late it was until I went inside.
She shook her head. “Your mother called. She wanted to talk to you, but you weren’t here. You can’t go running off like that. I need to know where you are.”
It wasn’t until later, laying sleeplessly in my mother’s old bed, watching the moonlight shadows on the wall across from me, that I realized what had scared her. She was afraid I had gone home. Had gone back to his house, fists clenched and ready. Had punched him until my knuckles bled and his nose was not all that was broken. That I would again stumble home in tears, and once again someone would have to beg my confession – What did you do? Oh my God, what did you do? That this time, the answers would not be so easy.
Saturday, December 13th, 9:47 AM
“Peace offering.”
I scratch my chest, squinting. “What’s that?”
Virginia rolls her eyes. “Breakfast burrito. Extra sausage, no onion, and a side of apology for being a bitch.”
I accept the plate, raising my eyebrows. “Seriously?”
She shrugs, swallowing hard. “It’s almost Christmas, Pookie. Consider it an early gift.”
It’s the first time I can remember that Virginia has apologized for anything. I pull open a drawer and pull out a fork. “I need to get my shopping done. Seriously.”
She groans. “Shit. It’s only two weeks away, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. You want to hit the mall today?”
She mulls it over for a minute. “I guess. I’m going to Rob’s at four...”
“Rob?”
She eyes me warily. “Yeah. My boyfriend. Jesus, Pookie, don’t start.”
“What? I’m not trying to start. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
She rolls her eyes. “Pookie, seriously. I’m sixteen. When you were sixteen, you were out having sex with Cassie in the backseat of your car. Don’t get all high and mighty on me.”
I shake my head. “Not getting high and mighty. Just going to eat my breakfast burrito. But, you know, for the sake of sharing knowledge, you’re not going to follow in the footsteps of my backseat sex fests, right?”
“And why does it matter to you?” She shifts her weight, jutting her hip out to one side.
“No. Doesn’t matter. Not judging. Just curious.” I dig my fork inside the burrito and dig out some scrambled eggs, shoving them into my mouth. When I’m done chewing, I stare at her for a minute. She’s pretty, my sister. They all are, really. Virginia even more than the others. Even when her hair is greasy and pulled back, even when she has no makeup on, even when she’s walking around the house in sweats with no bra on, she’s pretty. And I worry about her. I worry about them all.
She eyes me for a moment longer, then sighs. “When you’re done eating, we can hit up the mall. And if you want, I can tell Rob to come over here. He should meet you.”
She’s trying, today. Maybe she’s been trying all along. Maybe I’m finally starting to notice. Either way, I nod. I will take whatever she will agree to give me.
Sunday, August 17th, 11:34 AM
“Where are you going?”
“Out.”
She stood in front of the door. Blocking my path. “Out where?”
“Out. Poppy called. We’re driving out to Mason to wander aimlessly. I’ll have my phone on.”
Nana eyed me warily. “Ulysses...”
“Nana, it’s fine. I promise. I know you want to keep me safe, but really. You said yourself that she’s a nice girl. She’s a nice girl. I’m trying to be proactive. Meet some friends around here.” I shrugged. “Look, I’ll be home for dinner. Earlier than that. By five at the latest. We can have a nice meal together. Hey, if you want, I can stop by the grocery store up in Mason and buy some stuff, and I can make something.”
Her expression brightened. “Well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt...”
“I’ll be okay, Nana. I promise.”
It was hard for anyone to believe me. I wasn’t even sure I believed me. But she yielded, backing away from the door, and I gave her a quick kiss as I ran through it and across the lawn to Poppy’s house.
She was waiting, her late nineties green sedan humming in the driveway. As soon as I jumped in she threw it into reverse. “Are you ready?”
“Ready for what exactly?”
She groaned. “To rumble, obviously. Seriously, does no one tell you anything?”
“I moved here all of two days ago, so not really. What’s going on?”
She grinned and handed me a piece of paper. “Last two days before school starts. And we’re finally seniors, so this year it actually means something.”
I open the piece of paper and read:
Welcome to the Thirteenth Annual John Quincy Adams Scavenger Hunt
Who are we kidding? You know the rules. Two days. Your mission, whether or not you choose to accept it, is to pair up and find fifty items. Some of them are readily accessible (like your mother’s vagina) (seriously, she’s loose for an old lady). By the end, most of you will be collapsed in sobbing heaps. But for the two of you who find the most – or find the whole list in the least amount of time --, the rewards will be great. And, most importantly, your senior (or junior, but really, juniors, you’re only invited because otherwise we wouldn’t have nearly enough players) year will be a marvelous exercise in, and we are ashamed to say this, “being the bomb-diggity”. Congratulations in advance to this year’s winners.
Important Notes:
1. You must have the item itself. No pictures. No live witnesses. If you can’t buy it, steal it. But if you get caught shoplifting (or stealing street signs, a la the class of 2003), it’s on you. See #5 for details.
2. No physical violence is allowed against other teams. If your teammate is being an idiot (Todd), however, feel free to hit him/her (seriously, Lia, we can leave you a baseball bat if you’d like).
3. First prize is cold hard cash. There are no other prizes. So go for the cash. We might also manage some celebratory liquor, but that’s dependent on how strictly Norm’s Adult Beverages is carding these days.
4. Susie. Noon. Saturday. If you’re not there, you’re not playing.
5. To paraphrase Fight Club, those corny Las Vegas tourism commercials, and a particularly mind-numbing episode of Laguna Beach: What happens on the Scav stays on the Scav. Meaning? Don’t tell your parents. Don’t tell your school friends who live on some shitty farm fourteen miles down the road. And while you’re Scavenging, you are prohibited from explaining to outsiders why you are searching for whatever you are searching for, and why you are the twelfth couple to be looking for it in the span of two hours.
On that note, we look forward to seeing you on the 17th. Be there or... Don’t be there. But then what will you have to talk about on Tuesday?
I refolded the paper, eyebrows raised. “So we’re going on a scavenger hunt?”
“The Scav. Yeah. You’re lucky you got here in time. Actually, so am I. I didn’t know who I was going to partner with, since Lia and Todd got back together.” She rolled her eyes. “So, anyway, we’ve been looking forward to this pretty much forever. Since middle school, definitely. We did it last year, but Lia got bored halfway through, and she was the one with the car, so we lost pretty miserably.” She grinned over at me. “If we win, you’re doing me. I’m not even kidding.”
I groaned. “Do I have to?”
“Unfortunately, yes. You do. Fuck, we’re going to be early.” She pulled the car to the side of the road, where several others were already parked. “Are you ready? Seriously, it’s weird that you’re not excited. It makes sense, but it’s still weird. I’ve been looking forward to this for years.” She opened her door and looked over at me with a shrug. “Here goes nothing.”
“Sure.” Because spending two days with the girl who turned your head inside out was nothing. Especially when this girl you would do anything to impress has chosen you to accompany her on some strange small town ritual she’s dreamed of since she was twelve. When all her friends will be there, judging you, and you will have nothing to say, nothing to offer, because all that you can think about concerns people they have never met and mistakes they have never made. So yes, of course it was nothing. Nothing at all.
Saturday, December 13th, 11:01 AM
“So what’s going on with you and this Rob kid?”
She shrugs, holding up a dark blue sweater. “No?” I shake my head. It washes her out. She puts it back, sighing. “I don’t know. What are you buying for Josie?”
I show her a pair of turquoise earrings. “You think she’d like these?”
Virginia shakes her head. “Her piercings closed up while she was gone. Try a bracelet, maybe? All her sleeves have to be really long, so she wears them over top a lot of the time.”
“Right.” I put the earrings back on the display, biting my lip. “What kind of bracelet? Jesus, you saw the shit I bought for Cassie. It’s not like I’m good at buying jewelry.”
She laughs. “That shell necklace? God. Look, just... Buy her something. I don’t know. Get her a sweater or something. She looks good in green.” She tosses me a forest green cable knit sweater.
I wrinkle my nose. “It’s kind of impersonal.”
“Pookie. Seriously.”
“What?”
She rolls her eyes. “Have you ever considered just talking to her? You’ve been really weird since you got back.”
“My girlfriend died.”
She bites her lip, staring down at the navy sweater she’s still holding. Silent.
“She drove her car off the side of the road. Everyone says it was an accident. It wasn’t.”
“Pookie...” Her voice is higher and softer than I have ever heard it. “Don’t...”
“I’m weird. Okay? I’m weird, because my sister...” I look around the store. A woman a few feet away is looking at me over the jeans display.
“Let’s go.” Virginia drops the sweater and grabs the green one out of my hands. “We can shop later. Seriously. Let’s just go.”
“It’s fine.”
“Pookie.”
I pick up the green sweater and pick at the collar. “Let’s just get the shopping done, alright?”
She exhales heavily. “Pookie.”
“Virginia, I’m not taking you home. So let’s just shut up and do this, alright?”
“Okay.” She closes her eyes and sighs. “Whatever. I’ll get a ride home. Maybe Rob will take me.” She breezes past me, her jaw set.
“Virginia...”
She turns back and smiles sweetly. “God, I hope we don’t end up fucking in his backseat. Bye, Pookie. Have a nice shop.”
That’s Virginia. You can fool yourself for awhile into thinking things will be okay, but in the end, the peace is temporary. And you will lose the battle every time.
Sunday, August 17th, 11:57 AM
“I assume you’ve all read the rule sheets?”
“Lindsay, just give us the damn lists,” said the stocky boy next to me. He had a shaved head and radiated a serious attitude. His black polo shirt stretched tight over his chest and biceps. Poppy had told me that he was Todd, her best friend Lia’s sometimes boyfriend. Lia was tall and willowy, with unkempt dark brown hair and a mouth stuck in a permanent grin. She was the kind of person who organized bake sales and wore lots of argyle. The kind of girl Josephine had been, before.
“Who’s missing? Anybody? Don’t move for a second, people, I’m trying to get a head count...” Lindsay mouthed names as she pointed to each of us in turn, pausing when she got to me.
“Who are you and what exactly are you doing here?”
“I’m... Poppy...”
Poppy rolled her eyes. “He’s mine! I needed a partner and he moved in next door. Can you believe it? Seriously? Nobody ever moves in. I was destined to win the Scav.”
I shot her a weird look. She didn’t seem to notice.
“New?” Lindsay glanced at me, nodding slowly. “God, of all places to get stuck. Sucks to be you... What’s your name?”
“Kennedy.”
“Like the president?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Like it’s my last name and my first name is unspeakable.”
“Ah.”
Todd cleared his throat. “Ninety seconds. There are ten teams here, can we just start?”
“We have to give everyone a fair chance.” She shuffled the lists in her hands. “This year’s a good one, people. If anybody finishes this list, I swear I will buy the liquor myself. And that was totally Josh’s thing, too.” She turned back to me. “So you’re going to Quincy, I’m guessing. Not one of the private schools up in Mason.”
“Yeah. Start my senior year with everybody else on Tuesday.”
She nodded. “Uh-huh. God, that sucks. Seriously, I’m used to this place, I’ve lived here all my life, but moving here? When you’ve lived pretty much anywhere else? God.”
Todd tapped his watch. “Dude. Time to start. Hand out the lists, woman.”
Lindsay glared at him. “Alright, everybody, shut your mouths.”
“Wait!”
We looked over to see two guys, one blonde and one Hispanic, emerging from the trees. “Sorry,” said the blonde. “Wow, Linds. Cute haircut.”
She shot him a withering glance. “Yeah. Okay. Josh will pass out the lists in just a minute. First, I’d just like to officially welcome everybody to this year’s Scav. The cash is better this year than it’s ever been before, so you can cheer for that.”
There were some weak claps and one wolf whistle.
“All your items should be in your car on the first day of school. During lunch we’ll come out, you’ll come out, and we’ll all sit around and have a look. Judging might need to continue after school, in which case you can walk home. You live all of two miles away, at the most. Whoever has the most items wins. It’s pretty simple. Some of the shit is easy to find, some of it will make you want to cry. But everything is one point. He with the most points wins.”
The blonde boy spoke up. “You should be able to detail where and how you got each item if asked. And we will ask about at least one thing to each group. So if your story sucks, or doesn’t match up to what we know is true? You’re out. End of story.”
“Thanks for interrupting, Josh.” Lindsay smiled at all of us. “Now that he’s done, let’s hand out the lists, alright?”
Immediately, Poppy ran up and plucked one from her hands. “Scav list! Let’s go, Kennedy.”
I followed her through the trees. “I’ll read it while you drive.”
She nodded, handing it over to me as she yanked open her car door. “Sounds good.”
We climbed inside and Poppy gunned it, flying down the street toward Mason. “Read, boy. Come on.”
“Okay...” I smoothed out the list and began to read. “A beer bottle cap. A penny from 1977. A green feather boa. A calendar featuring a snake for each month of the year. A pair of galoshes. A dandelion chain. Three orange marbles. A wine glass with a light-up stem. Some sort of physical representation of a one eyed, one horned, giant purple people eater. Pink ribbon with white polka dots. A watch with an octagonal face. A crazy straw shaped like a historical figure. A movie poster for a movie currently in theaters. An oak leaf. A pair of festive Christmas socks. A DVD of the movie “Philadelphia”. Two rusty nails. A box of flavored condoms. A fingerless lace glove. And an etch-a-sketch key chain.”
Poppy groaned. “Okay. I know where to find all of two things on that list. Are you serious? A crazy straw shaped like a historical figure? Who makes those?”
“We need a strategy,” I decided, staring at the list. “Like, each of us gets three easy items and three hard items to look for at a time, and when you find one, you get to replace it with another one.”
“Alright. What are you taking?”
I read it over quickly. “The wine glass, the dandelions, and the bottle cap for my easy. The glove, the key chain, and the one eyed one horned giant purple people eater for the hard.”
“Leaf, Philadelphia, and the condoms. Calendar, galoshes, and... Give me something hard.”
“Umm... The socks? It’s the middle of August.”
“Fine. So the festive socks. I think I know where we can get those, actually... And there’s a drug store across the street for the condoms. It’s big enough that you might be able to find a light-up wine glass. Then we can hit up the video store for Tom Hanks, and then go to the park and get the leaf and the dandelions. Sound good?”
“Yeah, sure.” I stared down at my lap for a moment. “Look, Poppy... What was up back there?”
She glanced over at me. “What?”
“When you introduced me. What the hell was that?”
She raised one eyebrow. “That was... An introduction. What, did you want a marching band? Some balloons?”
“No. You just... Never mind. You just seemed really different. That’s all.”
“Uh-huh.” She squinted into the rearview mirror. “Jesus, they’re right behind us.” She stepped on the gas, and the car accelerated with a roar, hurtling down the road. I was glad, for once, to live in the middle of nowhere, where the roads are so straight you could go for miles and miles without even the slightest turn of the wheel. We drove in silence, my arms crossed, her eyes trained on the rearview.
Finally, we arrived in town. Mason was an interesting place. In reality, it wasn’t much of a city – one mall with two department stores, a food court, and a number of smaller specialty stores. Two record stores. One hotel. Lots of chain restaurants, two libraries, a few banks, and a hodgepodge of other amusements. But in the surrounding towns, it was a Destination, if only because everyone didn’t know your name.
“I’ll drop you off at the drug store. Look for the wine glass. I’ll get the socks and then come over there and get the condoms.” Poppy braked hard to make the turn into the drug store parking lot, throwing my body forward. She grimaced at me. “Hurry up, Kennedy.”
I obeyed, scampering out of the car. She squealed off, leaving me behind. It was the first time of many.
Saturday, December 13th, 3:38 PM
“Where’s Virginia?”
I shrug. “She left with her boyfriend.”
Josephine sits down across from me, slowly stirring her tea. “What happened?”
“Nothing happened.”
“Liar.” She looks down at her mug, shaking her head. “Look, Pookie, I don’t know what happened up at Nana’s. And I’m not asking you to tell me. But you’ve got to talk about it. Do something about it. You’re obviously not okay.”
“I’m fine.”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s like you forget who you’re talking to.”
“What? Because what happened to you is the same as what happened up at Nana’s?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
She shrugs. “Because I know you.”
“No. You don’t.” I stand up and push in my chair, the soles of my shoes squeaking on the linoleum. “It happens, Josephine. Shit happens. People die. You move on. That’s how it works.”
“But you’re not moving on, Pookie. You’re standing still. Waiting for something to change.”
I roll my eyes. “What, now that you get stuck in therapy three times a week you’re so damn wise? Look who’s talking about standing still. You don’t even leave the house. You don’t talk to anybody that isn’t related to you or who you’re not paying to listen. Way to move on. Way to take your life in your own hands.”
“Why are you such a jackass lately? What the hell are you trying to prove?” She shakes her head, running her tongue over her teeth. “That you were right to do what you did to Brennan? That you’re not who you were that night up in your room? That you’re tougher than that? Don’t just curl up in a ball and cry when things get too tough anymore?”
“That’s not fair.”
She stands up, her eyes flashing. “What’s not fair is that you run around treating everyone like shit. Like you have some sort of right because you’ve had it so tough. You don’t even know tough, Pookie. Tough isn’t watching bad things happen to other people. Get over yourself.”
“What, you’re the only one who’s allowed any personal tragedies now?” Our voices are getting progressively louder. I don’t care. I don’t care if the whole damn neighborhood hears us.
“Pookie, you haven’t had any personal tragedies! Nothing has happened to you!”
“I probably would’ve killed a guy if his father hadn’t dragged me off of him. I got banished to my grandmother’s house in the middle of nowhere. And the one person there who actually seemed to give a shit about me went and drove her car off the side of the road, because apparently I awaken everyone’s suicidal urges! Is that enough tragedy for you, Josephine? Or do we all have to slit our wrists to qualify?”
“I was raped. Fuck you.”
She throws her mug down on floor and storms out. It shatters, the handle breaking off and flying across the floor. Tea splatters on everything. I stand there. Staring. Suddenly exhausted. I collapse back into my chair. Lost.
It’s not that she hadn’t told me before. I was the first one. The one she trusted to do the right thing. And that’s what haunts me, now. It’s been five months. Somewhere in there, I stopped trying. I don’t think she expects anyone to do the right thing, anymore.
0 comments:
Post a Comment